


Nth

by yfere



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Time Travel, just a little drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-15 18:03:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18674743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yfere/pseuds/yfere
Summary: Caleb hasn't had this conversation before. Not at this time, not in this way.





	Nth

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GreenFire66](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenFire66/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Ashes of a Flame-Ridden Past](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17363480) by [GreenFire66](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenFire66/pseuds/GreenFire66). 



> Set in an AU--Caleb has time travelled, possibly more than once, and reenacted the formation of the Mighty Nein

“There you go again.”

Caleb started a little, pulling himself out of the haze of his memory to stare at Beauregard, cross legged and scowling at him in the dim light of the campfire’s embers.

“There I go again?”

“Yeah. You seemed to be present for a moment, then you—I don’t know. The way you talk sometimes, it bugs me.”

Caleb looked away from her and pulled his coat closer around him. It was starting to get chilly.

“I don’t mean _stop_ talking to me, hey. Hey. Look at me. It’s just a lot of the time I’ll be talking to you, and then all of a sudden you’ll get all—faraway. And talk like you’re—reciting something, or like you’re not paying attention anymore. I don’t know. It’s hard to describe.”

“I’m a bit of an oddball,” Caleb said.

“Is that it, though?”

Caleb leaned back on the heels of his hands, and tried not to sound amused. “You want to know why I am the way that I am? Of course you do. You are a very curious woman.”

Beau’s face screwed up further. “You can keep your fucking secrets, I don’t care. Just as long as they aren’t going to fuck me over down the line. Are they, though? Going to fuck me over?”

“I don’t think they’re interested.”

Beau huffed at him, and all was quiet for a minute. Two. Caleb picked at a patch of grass, thought how he doubted he’d picked at this patch of grass before. His memory was good, but there were things that slipped from even his mind—the feeling of the cold wind cutting through his bandaged arms, how many trosts he ordered that first day, the number of minutes they’d spent soaking in the public baths in Zadash. How exactly his face was arranged when he said the things that he said, before.

“Beauregard. Do you believe in fate?”

“Look, man, that’s really not funny—”

“It’s not a line, it’s a question. Do you?”

She blinked at him. “Well, that’s a heavy subject change. Uh…no? I don’t think I do. I think it sounds like the kind of bullshit some people gain a lot by making other people believe, though.” She sent him a cutting glance, but he ignored it.

“I agree with you.”

“What? That it’s bullshit?”

His fingers dug into his arms, bruising. “Nothing is set in stone. So much of our lives are happenstance, coincidence—more than I think is comfortable to dwell upon. All of it, maybe. You couldn’t duplicate the circumstances that led us here if you tried. Something would always be different, and surprise you.”

She stared at him, opened her mouth slightly as if she wanted to ask him something, then seemed to change her mind. “Okay. This conversation? Weirder than what I was talking about before. So. Kudos to you, I guess.”

He very nearly laughed. “I will try harder not to make you uncomfortable. And—Beauregard?”

“Yeah?”

“I am glad to know you. Always.”

She couldn’t know what he meant, not exactly, but he hoped some of his feeling made it through, nonetheless. It was true, after all—one of the few stable truths he had.


End file.
